Should a Good Leader Be Feared or Respected?

“Management by fear” is a long-standing joke in the Army, but is there some truth to it? Should we, as leaders, induce anxiety and fear in the name of goal achievement? Many people I meet say that it’s not working and it’s not moral to do so, but my experience tells me differently.

A leader should be both feared and respected; fear is one of our strongest motivators; it moves us away from the unwanted. Respect makes us follow because we believe in the values of the leader. Leaders who can direct these forces toward a goal will see incredible results.

In this article, I will discuss how a leader can use fear and respect as tools; I will take a psychological approach drawing from the science done by Nassim Taleb and Daniel Kahneman, together with my own experiences of more than a decade of military leadership.

Fear vs. Respect: Definitions and Differences

It’s easy to think that fear is always connected to something terrible, and vice versa, for respect, but as we shall see later in this article, this is not always true. Let’s start with understanding the differences between these two concepts within the leadership framework.

What Is Meant by “Fear” and “Respect”

Fear and respect are different emotions and attitudes that can influence one’s behavior and well-being.

• Fear is a strong, uncontrollable, unpleasant emotion caused by actual or perceived danger or threat.
•  Fear is forced.
•  Respect is voluntary.
•  Fear is toxic, life-threatening, and destroys self-confidence.
•  Respect is nurturing, life-enhancing, and builds self-confidence.
•  Respect is an attitude of consideration or high regard that is earned by giving value and worth to others.

Fear as a Leadership Tool

The most effective leaders use fear as a leadership tool, and it’s not necessarily all bad.

Fear can be an incredibly effective leadership tool; it removes the follower’s ability to criticize and, therefore, “waste” time with unnecessary questioning of decisions. This often leads to a fast-paced organization that can change directions and adapts to threats or challenges that arise.

It should also be said that fear is probably the best motivator we as humans have; when we understand that a certain inactive behavior will lead us to pain and suffering, we are much more likely to act.

The opposite isn’t true; motivation through “carrot” rather than the stick has proven not to be as effective.

“We love to win, but we hate to lose.”

Shahram Heshmat, Ph.D. Psychology Today

We have a proclivity toward loss aversion; loss aversion can be exploited by a leader through fear. “If you fail to meet the deadline, we will remove your bonus” (which in your head means you can’t go on vacation with your family, have a lower quality of life, etc.)

Thinking Fast and Slow (Amazon) is the perfect book to read when you want to understand how biases (such as loss aversion) screw up our decision-making.

There is a huge caveat to leadership by fear. It seems to only work in the short term; sooner or later, it makes engaged and productive employees anxious and less creative.

“Fear has a place in leading and managing others. But if used for short-term achievement, as a negative motivator, or as a source of power over others, it can have a damaging long-term effect.”

James L. Heskett. Harvard Business School

Personally, I believe that it is irresponsible for us leaders not to clearly communicate the consequences of certain behaviors; if employees break the code of conduct, they might have to look for another employer.

The above example is a straightforward illustration of using fear as a leadership tool, and I would argue it is equally beneficial for the employee and the employer. Failure to communicate actions and consequences because it might induce anxiety or fear is not a way to care for your people; great leaders show care through building individuals that can handle stressors, not by being “The overprotective mother.”

Amy Edmondson wrote the book The Fearless Organisation (Amazon), in which she argues that management should strive to make teams as free from fear as possible, as this will create a psychologically safe working environment where teammates feel encouraged to share ideas and opinions.

Respect as a Leadership Tool

Respect is often defined as the willingness to listen and follow the ideas of others; this closely resembles democracy. Democracy is also the opposite of fast decision-making; the more people we involve in the decisions making process, the longer it takes; in the bomb disposal community (EOD), this would be referred to as “EOD by committee” and something that was frowned upon since it often times took more time and very rarely improved decisions.

The author and scientist Nassim Taleb would also argue that the more information we take in before making a decision, the less accurate our decisions become; extremely counterintuitive, I know. That’s why the book The Black Swan (Amazon) is such a good read when you want to improve your decision-making accuracy.

I take the approach of showing the downsides of respectful leadership first because I assume you, as the reader, already understand most of the benefits. And you most likely understand that respect is vital to a successful career as a manager.

But let’s quickly summarize what the benefits of a respectful leadership style are:

• Creates a work environment where people feel heard and respected.
•  Improves relationships between leaders and followers.
•  Creates a highly engaged workplace.

Striking a Balance between Fear and Respect

As we can see above, fear, as well as respect, is necessary for effective leadership. The question is, when should fear to used, and when should it definitely not (considering its high risk to employee well-being)?

The question of respect is easier; we should always strive to maximize respect for our people, and only when we truly can is it acceptable t

Using fear as a leader is not bad; just make sure that your team is “afraid” of consequences and not you as a person. They should understand the impact of their actions and, at the same time, know that you have their back when they need support.

Fear is a great motivator; it moves us away from the unwanted. Pleasure is less effective but moves us towards the wanted (remember the loss aversion bias?).

When we as leaders use both of these forces in a balanced way, when the push and the pull work in synergy, moving us in the desired direction, then we can achieve great things with our teams!

Conclusion

We shouldn’t fear the leader, but it’s okay to be fearful of what will happen to us if we don’t align with the leadership and its rules.

As leaders, we need to understand negative emotions’ effects on our psyche and how it urges us to move away from the unwanted toward the wanted.