How To Talk to a Female Employee About Dress Code? (Without Backlash)

A dress code often gives basic guidelines about what to wear in the workplace, but it often seems that once employees get comfortable with their jobs, they often don’t dress appropriately. And if you’re a male in a position of authority and you need to address a female employee about her attire, how would you do it?

To talk to a female employee about dress code without backlash, it’s important to do so privately with an HR member present. Don’t make any comments about her body or any other personal comments. Be direct, but don’t be rude, and present the issues succinctly and professionally.

Talking with a female employee about the dress code can create a backlash, but it doesn’t have to. Keep reading to learn what to say and do before getting yourself into hot water with your boss.

How To Talk to a Female Employee About Dress Code

To talk to a female employee about dress code, you’ll want to have a plan of action for your conversation and show her that you’re not criticizing her. You’ll want a member of HR to join you, and you’ll need to keep your comments strictly professional.

Offer her a chance to fix her attire, but be flexible in your expectations, as she might not have a quick way to get home, or she might not have the appropriate attire.

Let’s look more closely at these steps.

1. Have a Plan About Your Conversation

Before having a conversation with your female employee, planning what you need to say will make it smoother for both of you. During this phase, you’ll want to review your company’s policies, even if you know them intimately.

Reviewing the dress code policies will also make sure you are correct and not trying to fix something that shouldn’t be fixed. For example, if the dress code states that open-toed shoes are prohibited, but any closed-toed shoes are fine, and your employee is technically wearing closed-toed shoes, you might not want to say anything.

Never mind that the shoes look hideous. If they’re closed-toe shoes, she’s not going against the dress code.

Imagine your embarrassment if what you thought your female employee wore was well within dress code guidelines, which is why you want to plan your conversation. If you find that you’re in error, it could cause your employee undue stress.

You’ll also want to find pictures of appropriate attire so your employee will understand it better.

2. Ask a Member of HR To Join You

When you ask a female employee in your office, especially if you’re a male manager, you could run into misinterpreted intentions. Even if you’re a female manager, having a witness to this type of conversation can protect you later if your employee claims that you said or did something inappropriate.

Ask a member of Human Resources to join you, as this accomplishes two things:

• You have a witness so that the conversation is above board.
• Your HR colleague can confirm your comments about the dress code and add authority to your statements.

3. Keep Comments Strictly Professional

Once you’ve planned your conversation and your HR colleague has joined you, it’s time to call in the employee. As you begin your conversation, you’ll want to remember that your employee is still human and needs compassion and dignity.

Starting the conversation with, “That dress is way too tight for your ample figure,” is a sure way to create a lot of backlash and perhaps a lawsuit against you, because, honestly, you’re being a douche.

Instead, it would be better to start with, “The company dress code states that clothing must fit properly without being tight.” Then professionally explain why your employee’s clothing is against the dress code.

Keeping your comments strictly professional leaves no space for your employee to argue with you or create a backlash.

4. Offer a Chance for Her To Fix Her Attire

After making your case and letting her know about the dress code policies, she might feel embarrassed or ashamed. Or she may feel uncomfortable in her current outfit and wish to change.

If your policy is that no one can leave the premises until the shift is over, and you talk to your female employee about her outfit at the beginning of the shift, that can make the rest of the day go badly for her.

Therefore, if you decide to talk with her at the beginning of the day, you’ll need to allow her to change or fix her attire. But just know that she will need to leave the property if she doesn’t have a change of clothes.

In that situation, you’ll want to talk with her at the end of the day so she can come back properly dressed the next day. Otherwise, you’ll get a lot of backlash for not letting her fix her outfit.

5. Be Flexible in Your Expectations

Expecting your employee to be properly dressed at all times can be too much to expect. Being flexible in your expectations can go a long way toward reducing the risk of backlash.

Let me explain what I mean.

Imagine your dress code states that employees should always wear professional shoes and no sneakers. But then your employee comes into the office wearing professional attire and sneakers.

You might be tempted to say something about this, but the employee hasn’t gone against the policy before. Before saying anything, you might ask her why she’s wearing sneakers instead of professional dress shoes.

Her professional shoes might have been ruined, and she hadn’t gotten to the store to buy new ones. Or, she might have forgotten her shoes at home, and she came from the gym.

At this point, you need to assess if it’s a big deal or if you can let it slide this time. Being flexible in your expectations will create a better working environment for everyone. And if your employee doesn’t stand a lot, it might not matter that much anyway.

Conclusion

Discussing the dress code with a female employee can be difficult, as it can be taken incorrectly if not presented professionally.

To avoid a backlash, it’s best to be clear, professional, and flexible. We all have bad days occasionally and don’t always do or wear what we’re supposed to. That’s why being flexible and accommodating whenever possible can go a long way with your employees.